


A Little Homo, For A Treat

by knees_of_bees



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bromance, Bromance to Romance, Character Study, Diary/Journal, Fluff, Friendship, Halloween, Hogwarts, M/M, No Homo, POV First Person, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:49:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knees_of_bees/pseuds/knees_of_bees
Summary: summary:Are you suffering from a mundane existence? Does your life need a kickstart? Call 1-800-HELP-A-BUDDY-OUT for some Jordan-style funtimes TODAY!All Lee wants to do is brighten everybody’s life, and sometimes he forgets about himself. But his best bro, his homie, his main man makes his heart smile in a way he’d rather not explore because hey,no homo.
Relationships: Lee Jordan/George Weasley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. In the name of the Father (Lord), the Son (Jee), and the Holy Spirit

**Author's Note:**

> Take two! I tried writing this high on meds, and it really didn't work, as you can see if you check out the story posted before this. I'm still drugged up but I'm a lil' more coherent now, so here's hoping this attempt is somewhat successful.

entry 1:

Waddup. Name’s Lee Jord, but you can call me Jee Lord. Or Jee Man, like He Man? That dope ass muggle show? Or Goose from Top Gun ‘cause that guy’s got game.

Dadda made me get a therapist ‘cause of the shit that just went down, and Madame Therapist is making me journal, which is the dorkiest dang thing on the planet. But heyo, here we are! She’s a good lady so I’ll do it for her.

Thing is, journaling to myself is dumb. I already know what’s up, man. Journaling to this journal is boring affff. So! Imma journal to you, my imaginary friend. Sound cool? Cool. 

What’s up in your life, pal? Favorite color? Least favorite food? Got friends? Got milk? 

Awh, my main man George just flooed in! Gotta go get that mac and cheese off the stove and chill with the bro. Only two days til it’s back to Warthogs! We be milkin’ the last smidge of summer. Aight, session over. Talk at ya later.

entry 2:

Cool cool cool so. Let’s go over the basics.

Dadda’s from Little London, Jamaica. Momma’s from Middlesbrough, England. Both were world travelers with senses of humor who jumped on adventure at the drop of a hat, and in the good ol’ town of Morocco, they met, fell in love, and had me. Sounds like a vibrant home life, yeah? Psych!

Momma got diagnosed with MS when I was two. I grew up in a tiny flat in London’s East End with a dadda who worked night shifts and a momma who’s like, always in pain. Kinda sucks, yaknow? That I didn’t get to travel and shit like they did. But they’re good people, like, I love my parents a hell of a lot.

No siblings, no sirree! I got cousins, tho, a whole slough of ‘em. They’re all in upper class London and they younger than me, but we’re best friends.

We’re in this dope ass improv club in the city. Hella hot people there. And like, the energy is rad. I also got a job at a drama camp for kids this summer, just ended. 

K I’m bored. Short attention span, but can ya blame me? I got stuff to do, people to see. Hope you’re well, homie.

entry 3:

Lightning McQueen and The Flash made sweet, sweet love, and I was born.

Just packed for Warthogs and it’s the fastest I’ve ever packed. I dunno, I need to be here for momma but I’m also, like, panicking and need to get away. I get weird and panicky when she had seizures, and this was a bad one. S’why I’m in therapy. If the doctors could just buck up and fix her, though, _I_ wouldn’t need fixing. Okay. Train time. I’ve got the twins to sit with and a healthy dose of fear to ignite in some first years. Don’t worry, it’s a minor prank. See you at school.


	2. If the party don't start 'til I walk in, what happens if I RUN in? What if I DANCE in? I must know

entry 4:

I used to have a cockney accent. Parents sent me to primary school and I unlearned that reeal fast. See, being a class clown comes with lots of leeway (ha, get it, leeway) for individuality, but it’s an art, you gotta be over the top without being an outcast. 

Feels less like trying with the twins & co, of course. My friends are my homies and my home.

Speaking of, Angelina looks real busy studying so Imma go distract her.

entry 5:

I mean, is it partly a desperate need to get along with everybody? My dorky puns and dad jokes and gorgeously ironic slang? Mayhaps. 

Actually, if we’re gonna be real, and like, we may as well be because it’s just you and me… It is that. Wanting to get along with folks. It’s also because I’ve gotten shit my whole life for being A Lot, so now I just own it, because they can’t mock you if you beat ‘em to the punch and are already making a meme of yourself.

And like.

It has to do with momma, too. I’m the only one that could make her smile for awhile there. Then she was doing better! Now she’s not again. It physically hurts me, bro, to see her in pain.

Anyway.

I’m also just like, genuinely optimistic, ya feel? There’s pain and shit but there’s also joy and, bottom line? Smiling is the best damn feeling in the world and I’ll share that any day.

entry 6:

Are you suffering from a mundane existence? Does your life need a kickstart? Call 1-800-HELP-A-BUDDY-OUT for some Jordan-style funtimes TODAY!

Alicia seemed down so I decided we oughtta throw a Halloween party. It’s Halloween tomorrow. That’s how bad I am at journaling. To be honest, it’s mainly because I got sappy on you, which, gross.

Anyway! Fred asked Angie and Alicia asked Katie, so Georgie boy is all alone. Time to romance my main man.


	3. He's no chicken

entry 7:

Well, that was awkward.

Things was smooth sailin’ at first. I asked him via quidditch pitch commentary because DUH, ‘tis the way to go. I was all…

HARRY, THE BOY WHO LIVED TO DISAPPOINT US ALL, JUST MISSED THE SNITCH, BUT FEAR NOT! HE’S LOOKIN’ FOR IT AGAIN. AWH SHIT! PUFFS JUST SCORED! ALRIGHT, FOLKS, WHILE QUAFFLES AIN’T FLYING INTO GOALS AND BLUDGERS AIN’T PUMMELING PEOPLE, WHILE I’VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION FOR JUUUST A SEC, I HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE. I WOULD LIKE TO ASK THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, GEORGE WEASEL, TO BE MY DATE TO THE HALLOWEEN PARTY! GEORGIE, IF YOUR ANSWER IS NO, BECOME A CHICKEN. IF YOUR ANSWER IS YES, BE ON A BROOM. 

He didn’t jump off his broom or sprout wings and a beak so I was all,

DO YOU SEE THAT, MY GOOD PEOPLE? GEORGIE SAYS YES! THIS IS LOVE. OH SHIT, PUFFS JUST SCORED AGAIN, I BLAME COLIN CREEVEY FOR BEING DISTRACTING. IT’S THAT DANG CAMERA. LET THE PLAYERS FOCUS, COLIN, GOD, COLIN, JEEZ.

And George was grinning and shit, it was good.

Then the game ended (Puffs won) and I went down to congratulate the bois on their stellar plays. George was all sweaty from playing, we love to see it, and I walked up to him like “My life, my love,” and he said “Man, you dork, I could _kiss_ you!” and I said “Bet” and then like, there was this weird pause. Where he looked at my mouth. And I looked at his. We were a hair away, my friend. And then Alicia was all “I ship it” and George laughed and dipped into the locker room and I was like welp, that happened.

Anyway! I’ve got a date, he’s got a date, and we’re gonna have fun because that’s just how we do it.


	4. Advanced homie behavior

entry 8:

Thanks be to Minnie McGod for teaching us how to transfigure quills into flowers.

I made a lil’ bouquet, slipped on my sunglasses, and shot finger guns at my reflection. I was like, “You got this, babe.”

G was spray painting dicks down by the dungeons with Freddie so I said I’d meet him in the kitchens to grab some snacks. The space between the tower and the kitchens left a lot of time to ponder shit; I hummed the Jurassic park theme song to avoid that.

I saw him and was all “Agent J. And you are...? Provide identification immediately,” because I’m Agent J, obvs. Will Smith is da bomb, I’m da bomb, I am Will Smith, and that’s on PEMDAS.

Oh, duty calls, and by duty I mean Angelina is studying again and I must intercept. 

entry 9:

Okay SO. We went up to the tower, we vibed at the party, we were bestest bros. There was our typical “I would die for you, man,” and “You’re the light of my life.” We kept having this prolonged eye contact, though, and like, lil’ smiles. ‘Twas nice. 

I danced with him, DUH, because we were DATES. And uhhhh that was pretty much it. There was that moment where he kissed me on the cheek but like that’s a bro move, right?

This was all last night, so like, it’s been a full day and everything’s pretty normal. Yeah? Anyway, I’m in bed now, and he’s in his bed over there, aaand we homies. Okay. Goodnight.

entry 10:

We are not homies. I repeat: We are not homies.

I said “bet” again and THIS TIME HE KISSED ME FOR REAL.

I was like nahhh this is just _advanced_ homie behavior. But then Alicia was like “double ship it” and Freddie was like “took you long enough” and I was like “we are DUDES being BROS” but I really wanted to kiss him again and I’m not good with impulse control soooo I did?

Anyway I think we’re dating now.

Momma's doing better. Like, not perfect, but better. My cuz visits her on weekends and writes me about her. I haven't seen my therapist since coming back to Warthogs but hey, I've been doing this journaling thing, right? Life ain't perfect but it's about the little things, and I've decided a little homo is healthy. So. That's where we're at.


End file.
